1. Your kids act like you are coating them with fire when you try to apply sunscreen.
2. Your kids’ favorite activity when it is 100° outside is leaving the back door open.
3. You thought you would be a cool parent and let your kids pick out snacks on this road trip and now you’ve been standing in the gas station for 25 minutes.
4. All of your time at the pool is spent “watching this” and adjusting goggles.
5. Your daughter just asked if that kid that you can’t stand can spend the night.
6. You brought a chair down to the beach with you but you have a toddler so that was pointless.
7. Is that a back to school ad in the mail on July 2nd?!?!
8. 22 seconds into swimming your daughter needs to go to the bathroom even though you asked her before you got in.
9. Now you have to get a wet bathing suit off and then back on in the restroom.
10. Swim diapers (holy gross).
11. Even though they came from the same package, your kids have resorted to fighting over whose Pop Tart is biggest.
12. No matter how long they stay up past their bed time, they never sleep in.
13. You thought it would be fun to buy one of those variety packs of small cereal boxes for your children but what you really bought was a 6 pack of fights.
14. You had a dream last night about the school bus.
15. It’s called summer break because that is what your kids will do to everything in your house until school starts back.
22 Comments | tags: Beach, family, funny, humor, parenthood, parenting, pool, school, Snacks, summer, trips, vacation | posted in Uncategorized
Sorry, this was kind of a jerk move. My bad.
6 Comments | tags: Beach, bragger, jerk, no one likes this, vacation | posted in Uncategorized
I think we all can agree that few things in life rival spending the day at the beach. Fun, sun, surf, and sand, and sand, and oh look more sand. There is nothing better than that feeling you have after your post beach shower. Your skin is all tight and sun kissed and the sand is finally all washed out of your business. Totally Sweet.
The Summer Beard
I have spent a bit of time spring breakin at the beach this week. I have had a great time and am also continuing my journey of self discovery of this person I didn’t used to be. For example I have a naturally darker complexion and have rarely used sunscreen. Now I know that most towels have a soft side and a scratchy side. Yowzers sunburns hurt. I am contemplating growing a summer beard because the thought of scraping my burnt skin with a razor makes my knees wobble. Another reminder that I am getting older and now the father of two girls is my opinion of bikini clad adolescents. If this particular spring break location had a sponsor it would be tube tops and aviator sunglasses. There was a time in my life that this would have been heaven but now all I can think is how that girl’s dad must feel. I guess that is part of growing up and follows suit with the other paradigm shifts in my life. I know that we all have those things that we look back at when we get older and realize they were silly (although, I will stand behind a well tight-rolled Bugle Boy jean) and for today’s teenager it will likely be the sunglasses. I don’t get the whole hipster thing. What is so ironic about looking like and idiot? As you get older the thoughts going through your mind on vacation change and that is kind of weak, but not near as weak as rubbing aloe on your blistered ear lobes. Seriously, sunburned earlobes?? Weak.
7 Comments | tags: Beach, bikini, family, humor, parenthood, spring break, sun, travel | posted in Uncategorized