Tag Archives: Snacks

July 7, 2015

15 Reasons Summer Sucks for Parents

By Simon

1. Your kids act like you are coating them with fire when you try to apply sunscreen.

2. Your kids’ favorite activity when it is 100° outside is leaving the back door open.

3. You thought you would be a cool parent and let your kids pick out snacks on this road trip and now you’ve been standing in the gas station for 25 minutes.

4. All of your time at the pool is spent “watching this” and adjusting goggles.

5. Your daughter just asked if that kid that you can’t stand can spend the night.

6. You brought a chair down to the beach with you but you have a toddler so that was pointless.

7. Is that a back to school ad in the mail on July 2nd?!?!

8. 22 seconds into swimming your daughter needs to go to the bathroom even though you asked her before you got in.

9. Now you have to get a wet bathing suit off and then back on in the restroom.

10. Swim diapers (holy gross).

11. Even though they came from the same package, your kids have resorted to fighting over whose Pop Tart is biggest.

12. No matter how long they stay up past their bed time, they never sleep in.

13. You thought it would be fun to buy one of those variety packs of small cereal boxes for your children but what you really bought was a 6 pack of fights.

14. You had a dream last night about the school bus.

15. It’s called summer break because that is what your kids will do to everything in your house until school starts back.

22 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | posted in Uncategorized

February 1, 2013

Kids Need a Healthy Diet

By Simon

Sweet

Movie Night  1527087-popcorn-and-plate

I wish I got as excited about anything as much as my daughters get excited about the declaration of movie night in our house.  Now keep in mind at 6 and 2 years old they are not exactly film buffs but they are seasoned connoisseur of another component of movie night; snacks.  Specifically popcorn.  My kids will devour popcorn and for the toddler, it is the main attraction of movie night.

We are at a fun place right now when it comes to entertainment selections because the little one is old enough to follow along and enjoy a show or movie as long as it is on her level (mostly Caillou) and my older daughter is at the age where she feels like she needs to distance herself as far away as possible from any show or movie that she deems: for babies.  They are both aware of the others disdain for certain shows and have become quite the little antagonists.

That is where the movie snacks come in.  They are the common denominator and unite them even when their movie choices differ.  It is fun to watch them get so excited over something so small and though the snacks may not be the healthiest thing, the laughter and fun are things that are definitely good for them.

One of my favorite things about being a parent is that no matter what happens, you are always a pallet on the floor or a tent in the living room away from being a hero.

That is pretty sweet.

 

Weak

How ‘Bout a Bowl of Disappointment? my_child_will_not_eat (1)

My kid’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast on Saturday morning is whatever we are not having.  Seriously, the preparation of meals in our house has to be one of the most futile activities we take part in.

We are always trying to find balance between, “you can’t get up until you finish eating” and “just give her an apple sauce squeezy so she at least eats something and shuts her cry-hole.”

Sometimes I feel like it would be faster to just pinch her so she starts crying, toss a plate of food in the garbage, and squirt ketchup on the dog. Might as well at least make the ordeal only last a minute instead of 15.  It is important to us that they learn about different foods and don’t live on chicken nuggets and yogurt for the next few years.  We are finally getting better at utensils and manners but unfortunately, ours was part of the new generation that figures out how to work the settings on an ipad before using a spoon correctly.

We won’t give up and not every meal time is a bad one.  There are often times though, that I feel like the toddler should just tell the truth, “watching you clean up after dinner and scrape my hardly touched plate into the garbage is exhausting.  I want a snack!”

When you spend the time to create a good dinner for your family and it instantly becomes a plate of disappointment when set in front of your toddler, it is totally weak.

 

7 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Uncategorized

January 31, 2012

Its Getting Kind of Squatchy in Here

By Simon

Sweet

That Should Buy Me a Little More Time

Let me tell you about something that is awesome. You know when you throw something away in your kitchen garbage can and it is full? Yeah, we all hate that. What is awesome though, is when you muster up the fortitude to smash your hand down into the can like a human trash compactor and buy yourself 8 more inches of chore freedom. It is a risk that we all take and though it pushes the plastic fibers to their limit and increases the chance the bottom blowing out, we are ok with that. We have just created bonus time. The mind reels when considering the endless options of what you can now do with the 4 minutes of extra time you just created. I am not saying that I brag about it on Facebook or anything, but when I press that paper plate down and the top of the pile retreats all the way to the halfway point of the can, I can’t help but feel a little proud. Chore procrastination is totally sweet.

Weak

Nothing Says Reality like Bigfoot.

It took a bit of time for reality television to gain credibility as a legitimate television genre. Those days are over. I don ‘t even remember what it’s like to watch shows with actors and writers and stuff. I think I may have a problem. Everyone says that House Hunters isn’t bad and can’t hurt you but we all know it is a gatekeeper. I started slow, a little here, a little there. I knew people who were talking about it and hey, I will try anything once. What’s the worst that can happen? The cool kids are talking about Pawn Stars and Hoarders and I want to be accepted at the water cooler.

Well kids, let me set you straight. The worst that can happen is horrible. Last night I was up in the middle of the night like some strung out crack fiend watching a show called Finding Bigfoot on Animal Planet. I know what you are thinking, I didn’t make the jump from something relatively innocent like 19 kids and counting straight to using the word “squatchy.” No, it has been a downward spiral of Toddlers, Tiaras, Little People, Swamp People, and Teen Moms. I don’t know if there is a 10 step program but after convincing myself that Bigfoot was, not only real, but in my backyard last night, I think I may have a problem. In fact, I am thinking about stopping my car payments just so I can get on TV on one of those repo shows. It’s bad guys. I was looking around the internet for a support group or a meeting or something but did you know that every episode of Jon and Kate plus 8 is on Netflix? Please keep me in your prayers and send snacks, I will see you in April.

Reality TV has gotten pathetically weak and I can’t help myself.

17 Comments   |  tags: , , , , , , , , | posted in Uncategorized