Dear cold Soy saucy broccoli, how I love thee first thing in the morning eating you standing up in front of an open refrigerator without any pants on. You know, in immediate retrospect, I think that the no pants thing might have been taking it a bit too far. That being said, when I am concerned that my words haven’t quite hit the comedic tone I was seeking, I find adding something about no pants to the end never hurts.
I don’t want this post to take anything away from traditional breakfast foods and as a southerner, I hold things like biscuits and grits close to my heart. While an organized planned out breakfast is a thing of beauty, there are few things that this world has to offer sweeter than eating cold leftovers for breakfast standing in front of the refrigerator. I guess you could go to the trouble of putting that pizza on a plate and sitting at the table but it is 7:30 in the morning, what am I some kind of weirdo? When you eat it standing in front of the fridge it is kinda like it didn’t really count.
Last week we had some people over for dinner and my neighbor was kind enough to leave the spinach dip she made. I thought about texting her first thing the next morning to tell her she had already made my day but didn’t want to sound like some kind of freak. That cold spinach dip was the best thing I had eaten for breakfast in a long time. Let it be known that she left crackers as well and I didn’t just eat dip with a spoon like some kind of animal. Cold Spinach dip was a nice start to a non-traditional breakfast weekend. Sunday morning brought along another favorite but rarer treat. The candy breakfast. For the most part on Easter and Christmas morning I can trust that the first food I am eating is chocolate. Pretty awesome to proudly have peanut butter cups for breakfast with no fear of being judged, heck, you can even post a picture of your half eaten bunny on the internet and people will think you are some kind of hero. To be honest though, there is one minor drawback to your breakfast coming wrapped in tiny pieces of foil. It pretty much insures your metabolism and energy level for the day will be akin to a bottle rocket. Lots of blast and fury out of the gate but just doesn’t quite last long enough to get the job done. I couldn’t do it every day but twice a year candy breakfast is pretty sweet.
I love restaurants. I worked in them for years and the whole idea of having servants to cook, clean, and bring me things for me for about an hour has a certain appeal. Lately though, I have been rethinking my approach. You see we have a little one that is at that adorable age that she has decided she is too big for a high chair but she is still very capable of needing stitches at any minute.
We were at the beach last week for some spring break fun and as many do, we washed the sand out of our nooks and crannies and headed out to become slaves to a little pager thing that beeps and lights up to tell us it is our turn at the trough. For the most part, everything was great but every now and then a dining experience steadily spirals out of control and sucks the joy out of a night quicker than a Cajun with a crawfish. We had one of those experiences last week. Having been there myself, I have an incredible amount of empathy for the restaurant business but sometimes you have to take a stand. It is probably one of the weakest of the weak but last week I had to pull out the big guns and do something that no one wants to do. I asked to talk to a manager. Pretty weak.
May 2nd, 2012 at 6:47 am
Hey there! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my good old room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!
April 16th, 2012 at 11:12 am
Its funny that you’re a father of two and I’m a single girl in my mid twenties, but I also enjoy most of my meals standing in front of the fridge with no pants on.
April 16th, 2012 at 11:44 am
Some things about your twenties are so great, you take them right into your thirties.
April 12th, 2012 at 10:30 pm
You know, you could always eat in front of the garbage disposal and then when you finish you won’t have to walk to the garbage can to throw anything away! Laziness at its core.
When I saw the preview for this entry, I thought that lobster was something entirely different and completely inappropriate. Ha. Which only tells me, I need to go a date or something.
April 13th, 2012 at 8:02 am
I didn’t realize it at first but you are totally right, that lobster thing looks like something completely different. I am a big fan of taking laziness to the extreme.
April 10th, 2012 at 7:13 pm
love it! Totally sweet – only cold thing I’ll eat is pizza and leftover meat from a barbie and always chocolate bunnies at easter…
We have those silly buzzers here too (haven’t seen lobster ones yet) and they are a royal pain in the butt. Is it because they can’t pay for an few more staff to do table service… blah. I hate them. And yeah, I’m one of those who have to suck it on the chewy croutons.. bleugh.
April 11th, 2012 at 9:51 am
Pizza may be the king of cold breakfast, good call.
April 10th, 2012 at 4:54 pm
Reese’s peanut butter Easter egg for breakfast today….pure gold.
April 11th, 2012 at 9:51 am
hard to beat
April 10th, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I will have to relive the details in my next post maybe. I totally dig chewy croutons and dig that you tell those people to suck it, hilarious!
April 10th, 2012 at 1:50 pm
You need to tell us the whole story!
And um, the lobster buzzer thing…it does look questionable. hahahah
I love leftover salad when the croutons are chewy, some people think I have a problem but they can suck it. I love leftovers for brekky.
April 10th, 2012 at 1:17 pm
And you’re not telling why you had to speak to the manager?
April 10th, 2012 at 1:41 pm
It was really the sum of all parts, bad experience from beginning to end, you name it, they got it wrong.
April 10th, 2012 at 12:33 pm
*so not do 😀
April 10th, 2012 at 12:32 pm
That lobster buzzer is very odd. I’m glad I read to the end because I thought it was something you’d buy at the adult book store 🙂 I remember when my kids were small and I discovered take out could be do much more peaceful.
April 10th, 2012 at 1:40 pm
That is hilarious and when I looked at it a second time you are totally right, I even added a caption to clarify.
April 23rd, 2012 at 8:15 pm
i know it’s not a big surprise, but i thought the same thing. and i thought i might want to buy one.
April 24th, 2012 at 10:22 am
So you are saying there may be a market for that sort of thing?
April 24th, 2012 at 8:59 pm
i think you can make big bucks for a replacement fuck. (hee hee, can i write that on YOUR blog?) personally, i’m not big into toys. candy, yes, toys, not so much.