Sweet
Turbo
If you don’t recognize this from Spaceballs, I am questioning the entire foundation of our relationship.
Ever have a day that you feel like you hit your own personal turbo boost? Your reflexes are faster, your attention is more focused, your productivity can’t be stopped? Like that 10 minutes after your first cup of coffee when everything shifts into perfect focus only lasting for 12 hours?
Monday I returned back to the office after a week of vacation. Sweet glorious sunburned nose and umbrella drink vacation. I walked into my office and through the dark I saw that little flashing red light blinking from my phone. It was welcoming me back with the notification that I had eleventy billion messages.
If I were Stallone in the movie “Over the Top” this would have been the part where I turned my mesh trucker hat backwards and got down to business. I was a sight to behold. Luckily no one really saw it because that is the kind of productivity that can set expectations way too high. I plowed through phone calls and emails scheduling meetings and solving problems. I didn’t get up to pee, I didn’t eat lunch. For a solid 9 hours I was a machine. I not only got my personal wheels of commerce moving again, I gave the squeaky points a shot of oil and got them running better than they were before.
I knew it wasn’t going to be fun, but I knew I had to do it and when the day came to a close I was pleased with the fruits of my labor. I think we all have days like that where we get into a groove and can’t be stopped. The satisfaction from a day like that sometimes makes me question why I don’t do it every day, but then I remember how much I love the internet and wasting time and how I never shy away from setting a bar too low in order to make my leaps over it more astounding.
If we could, we would put that kind of day in a bottle so we could use it whenever we needed to. Some people do it every day and I commend them, but for me it doesn’t come around quite as often. That was my Monday and it was totally sweet.
Weak
Coasting 
If Monday was a high-octane turbo adventure, Tuesday was cruising down a hill with your foot off the gas. Perhaps I wore myself out or misplaced my mojo but Tuesday started something like this: Made it to the gym first thing in the morning. Broke a sweat untangling my earbuds. Hit the showers. Bought a $6 smoothie. Buckle up world, I am on fire.
I hope I am not the only one that has these kind of days on occasion. Where there just seems to be a light haze over everything and even going through the motions seems to require more effort than you are willing to part with. You get the work done that has to be done but those little nuggets of productivity in the day seem to fizzle fast. You read some blogs or stuff on the internet, look at boat trader for what seems like forever, catch up on some words with friends turns and before you know it, it is already 9:15. What? How can it only be 9:15? I feel like I have already wasted the entire day.
If you were born with a special gift and talent for coasting like I was, you don’t have to dig too deep to maintain your low effort prowess for the rest of the day. As new tasks arise, you calmly push them aside because you are still full from the big bowl of lazy you had for breakfast. Eventually the day begins to come to a close and you smile at your accomplishment of basically keeping a seat warm and laughing at some potentially questionable internet humor.
The end of a day like that gives you a whole different feeling. I would tell you what it is but I was way too lazy to remember it. It is something like a very relaxed dusting of remorse sprinkled over empty. I take solace in the fact that the coast days are not the norm and the high level assessment of my work ethic and productivity is pretty solid. That being said, I think we all have those days that just seem to drift by with little or no contribution from ourselves. Everyone likes to be a smidge lazy, but when you realize you coasted the whole time it is pretty weak.
Simon C. Holland 
July 24th, 2012 at 5:48 pm
Holy crap, you are reading my mind. I feel like I have some kind of middle aged ADD that keeps me from focusing on what is most important. I get sidetracked with BS at every turn, and it seems the more stressed I get, the more susceptible I am to tuning it all out and being a slug. One day, my husband came home to find me draped over a chair where I had been surfing listings of vintage Tupperware on ebay for four hours. WTH?
July 13th, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Like you, I have experienced both those days. Unfortunately, your Tuesday happens to me about 5 times as much as your Monday. This is my favourite line from any blog in a long time…”but then I remember how much I love the internet and wasting time and how I never shy away from setting a bar too low in order to make my leaps over it more astounding.” Brilliant! I actually snorted when I laughed.
July 17th, 2012 at 9:03 am
Thanks so much Michelle, I love that you can relate to my setting of low expectations. I appreciate you stopping by to read.
July 12th, 2012 at 11:25 pm
I can relate. However, I think this post just convinced me to find another place of employment, haha. My Monday was stifling, and my Tuesday was awesomely productive, yet I had to work 15 hours to even make a dent, and I didn’t feel a bit as sweet as you felt. In fact, I felt beaten up and unappreciated. That’s sad, I know, and not the least bit funny, but I think you just gave me the advice I needed without knowing it. I want to coast…at least on a random day here and there. My job? Weak. Thanks! 🙂
July 13th, 2012 at 9:21 am
I feel like I need to add some disclaimer about the views and opinions haha. Trust me I have had plenty of those 15 hour days that didn’t seem to make a dent. That being said, I hate you are feeling beat down. Maybe something does need to change. Thanks for reading Sandra and good luck.
July 12th, 2012 at 8:29 pm
Very nice post indeed. I’d like to learn more of that optimism of yours.
Coco here.
– http://www.lettersformike.wordpress.com
July 12th, 2012 at 3:04 pm
I can only hope I have that type of Monday when I return from vacation!
July 12th, 2012 at 3:24 am
You should be bottled! oops, is that the wrong thing to say.. love your post and your Tuesday is totally me.
July 12th, 2012 at 9:58 am
Thanks Jen, I am afraid if I was stuck in a bottle I would disappoint when it came time to grant 3 wishes.
July 13th, 2012 at 3:06 am
but doesn’t the genie just POP straight out of that bottle when the time arises??
July 12th, 2012 at 1:47 am
I loved ‘It is something like a very relaxed dusting of remorse sprinkled over empty.’
It is school holidays here at the moment (back next week) and the kids and I have pretty much coasted the whole time. Ok, so some video game records have been broken, but that is about it. I would type more but….tired….weak…. 😉
July 12th, 2012 at 9:48 am
Thanks so much, someone plucking a phrase from a post that they thought was cool is one of my favorite things. I need a week of breaking video game records. Sounds awesome.
July 12th, 2012 at 10:35 am
Totally awesome. I noticed that they spent the today doing any chore they could think of, and was quite impressed. Then
I realized they were doing it in order to bump up their pocket money chances for next week and that the money will be used for a new video game…. oh well…. 🙂
July 11th, 2012 at 10:51 pm
I would like to request, I’m sorry demand, an Over the Top reference sprinkled in to at least one post a week. That’ll be all. Thank you.
July 11th, 2012 at 10:58 pm
I am glad you stopped by. I needed validation for the sheer awesomeness of that reference. I will work on getting it in more often.
July 11th, 2012 at 10:09 pm
great post… I love when I get my mojo going at work..feels so good!
July 11th, 2012 at 10:54 pm
It really does. Thanks!
July 11th, 2012 at 4:39 pm
Very very funny. I for one relate. A great line from Michael Douglas in an old movie. about travelling aimlessly around. “What was I into?…I was into shortcuts!” now I think I’ll replace it with having “…a bowl of lazy for breakfast.” Great post!
July 11th, 2012 at 5:00 pm
Thanks so much for the compliment. I am glad I’m not alone. I love shortcuts too.
July 11th, 2012 at 3:59 pm
You have a special gift, bottle it and sell it; you will make a fortune!
July 11th, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Ha, you are too kind.
July 11th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
Great post! And that dog is just like my daughter’s Coonhound, Elvis. He relaxes on my (good, white) couch, slobbers all over it, but man, does he know how to chill! If he’s yours, give him a great big hug…
July 11th, 2012 at 3:29 pm
I wish he was mine, he looks kind of awesome. I have always wanted a hound. Thanks for reading Laurie. have a great day.
July 11th, 2012 at 3:22 pm
When I worked a “real” job, I always felt like I needed another vacation by the time I caught up with the work that piled up while I was away on vacation. Does that make sense? 🙂
July 11th, 2012 at 3:28 pm
Totally makes sense. I usually need a vacation by every Wednesday come to think of it.
July 11th, 2012 at 3:06 pm
You have days like that Monday? And on a Monday? After a vacation? Overachiever…;-)
July 11th, 2012 at 3:27 pm
I hate to brag but I can be pretty awesome sometimes haha.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:44 pm
so spot on! Love it!
July 11th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Thanks! Glad to know I am not alone.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:43 pm
I laughed out loud of your description of Tuesday. How is Wednesday? I just finished my contract with the Army. I remember when I was in Afghanistan, I had the “sweet Monday” you described a lot. Now, I’m living in Alaska waiting for my puppy to get old enough I can leave her alone, letting my husband do all the work and the sweet Mondays just remind me I’m going to have to clean the house again next Monday. Oh well, I’ll get back to it soon enough and then miss being able to read your blog whenever I want.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:56 pm
Congratulations and thank you for your service. I am glad you got a laugh. I really appreciate you reading and finding my blog. I think the up and down days probably balance out in the end unless you are a hobo.
July 11th, 2012 at 11:21 pm
Hobos are so underrated.
July 12th, 2012 at 9:46 am
I couldn’t agree more Julie, hope you are doing well.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
You are not alone! Keep writing so I can procrastinate from my work duties a little more frequently, OK?
July 11th, 2012 at 2:40 pm
Funny, I had not really considered that I was contributing to the coasting of someone else. That is both an honor and kinda seems like responsibility. I will try to embrace it. Thanks for reading.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Love your posts, Simon. I’m at my best in the a.m. after that, it can go either way….:).
July 11th, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Thanks Brigitte, I can have the same experience sometimes. It is not always an entire day but sometimes I can hit a speed bump mid afternoon and never really recover. I think it is natural but I like confirmation from others that I am not alone as well haha.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:31 pm
Ah, Spaceballs! “They’ve gone to plaid!”
And yes, I can totally relate, the days of being on fire and productive are awesome but they seem to be followed by the coasting days.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:37 pm
Audrey, I am glad we can be friends based on our mutual appreciation of stellar cinematic achievement.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:18 pm
You’re supposed to have that perfect focus feeling 10 minutes after the first coffee? I must be doing something wrong. And I’m not even drinking decaf.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
You’re right, should have said 5th cup of coffee or a mild session of shock therapy or something. Thanks MW, always love seeing you.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
The interconnected webs are my life. And um, you’re not playing Friends with Words with me!!
July 11th, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I know, I even suck at being lazy.
July 11th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Simon, I am coasting queen and I am proud of it. Most of the time. Great post!
July 11th, 2012 at 2:17 pm
It really is a special gift. You are one of the lucky ones. Thanks!