Holy Grail of the Grocery Store


Finding it

I don’t know if you are like me but anytime I am at the grocery store there is part of me that is captain domestic; checking things off a list, coordinating meal plans, watching prices, etc. and a part of me that is a conquistador on a quest for the jewel of the dairy section. I scan the rows of milk jugs. Sept. 25? No way, they all say that. So I crouch down and notice a row near the bottom, Sept. 29? Better but still not the prize I am after. I reach in and maneuver gallons from the back row tipping them just enough to see the date and then I find it. Oct. 4! JACKPOT! Finding the freshest gallon of milk is a legitimate win and I have more then once gotten a knowing nod from an onlooker as they see me stretching to the back row of the milk shelf in hopes of making the find.

I may have had some bad milk as a kid but I take those dates pretty seriously. In general I am not touching that stuff within 2-3 days of the date stamped on the jug. You may scoff at that and argue that the date on the jug is when it should be sold by. You go right ahead and pour a glass of your milk as it sits on the cusp of spoiling but know that your courage is not admired by me. You are taking an unnecessary risk my friend, and the amount of chocolate or cereal you put in there still doesn’t make it fresh.


Every house on “House Hunters International” that isn’t in Costa Rica.

I may lose a couple of readers here (which would be roughly 40%) due to what some may see as a bloated entitled American point of view, but I can’t take seeing people so excited that there is a washing machine in their closet sized kitchen that is capable of washing 2-3 whole garments. If you aren’t familiar with the show, you obviously lead a much more exciting life than I do and I should probably be reading your blog about wild adventures and drunken shenanigans. The basic premise is that someone is buying a new house, they look at three and then pick one. Sounds simple and dumb but it is one of those things that sucks you in like a Jedi tractor beam. I guess the positive spin here is that I am grateful to live in what I believe to be the greatest country on earth. One in which it is customary for a home priced over half a million dollars to have ceilings you don’t have to duck under and a bathroom that comes with a shower or tub. I am thankful for those things but when I watch this show my first reaction is often….Seriously?!? It is hard to believe that people really do live in those tiny spaces that IKEA has in their showroom. American couples are always complaining about things like the stainless steal appliances not being shiny enough or the crystal chandelier being out-dated. On the international version they seem to deal with somewhat larger issues like, is it safe that the bed is suspended over the stove to save space? having your pillow smell like a pot of spaghetti sauce is pretty weak.


About Simon

I am a husband and a dad of two little girls. I am a lone Y chromosome and am already planning my escape strategy to deal with the estrogen flood that is on its way. People say there is a lot of joy to be found in the simple things and I have found they can provide a healthy dose of anti-awesome as well. I am, in general, a pretty optimistic guy and needed a bit of a creative outlet; so here it is. Thanks for stopping by. View all posts by Simon

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