5 more minutes….


Waking up before the alarm 

I am not talking about 10 minutes before the alarm goes off, everyone hates that.  That is like being robbed of your last ten minutes of sleep which are usually the best.  It is that part of the dream where you find the pot of gold or save the day and the distressed damsel.  What is totally sweet is when you wake up feeling like you have slept all night and it is time to start the day and you look at the clock and it is 2:42.  SWEET!!  That is almost like getting two nights sleep for the price of one.  Inevitably you will wake up late from your “second night” and not feel near as refreshed as you did at 2:42 but that is a small price to pay for that moment when you flip to the cool side of the pillow and bask in your not having to get upness.  There are a lot of good parts to life and sleep ranks right up there with air conditioning and microwave popcorn but bonus sleep should be a first ballot inductee into the Sweetness Hall of Fame.  (Yeah yeah, I get that it isn’t actually extra sleep but perception is reality.)



Holy Medium Soft Drink! 

So I hit the drive through at Wendy’s today because I have had a fairly steady love affair with the jr. bacon cheeseburger that dates back to sometime in the early 90’s.  While I am trying to eat more healthy with the grilled chicken and a side salad I can’t resist the JBC so I got it as an add on.  Fat guys know what I am talking about, the “add on” is getting the combo and then adding on something from the value menu.   In some circles the vernacular for the “add on” is “the road burger”, or “frypetizer” because you want some greasy deliciousness now and while eating fries in the car is one of life’s great joys, no one likes sitting down to lunch and realizing 67% of your fries didn’t survive the ride home.  I digress.  Anyway, as I ordered my combo the voice in the little box asked me if I wanted medium or large.  I guess “small” has gone the way of Pluto to never be seen or heard from again.  I responded with medium because that seemed like the sensible choice.  That is until it took two people lifting with their legs to hand this gargantuan beverage through the window.  How is a drink that is roughly the size of a roll of paper towels considered medium?  It is a good thing that I didn’t order a large because I didn’t opt up for the towing package in the old sedan.   This occurence wouldn’t be weak until I realized that medium is now an up-charge and the old medium is now the small.  Now for some knowledge dropping: if you are privy to the inner circles of fast food then you also know that the old small is now called the “value size” drink.  By way of a coy marketing technique I was taken to the cleaners for 39 cents.  We can probably all point our fingers at Starbucks for starting this trend with their tall, grande, venti lineup but regardless of who fired the first shot it is time we join together and take a stand.  Order the small next time, you will be surprised at how medium it is.



About Simon

I am a husband and a dad of two little girls. I am a lone Y chromosome and am already planning my escape strategy to deal with the estrogen flood that is on its way. People say there is a lot of joy to be found in the simple things and I have found they can provide a healthy dose of anti-awesome as well. I am, in general, a pretty optimistic guy and needed a bit of a creative outlet; so here it is. Thanks for stopping by. View all posts by Simon

6 responses to “5 more minutes….

  • Maggie O'C

    FYI, if you order Diet Coke it negates all the other calories so you can have as many frypetizers as you want.

    I love reblogging!

  • Simon

    Reblogged this on sweetandweak and commented:

    Is it super lazy to Reblog something you wrote months ago? Well if the shoe fits I guess I will wear it. I like the idea of having interesting funny insight to write about on a fairly steady schedule but I woke up this morning at 3:12 thinking it was time to start the day. It reminded me of this. It was one of the first blogs I posted.

  • Simon

    I like the idea of asking for “normal.” Thanks also for reading. The Freshly Pressed thing has been unreal but it is also really cool to see that some folks looked around at some of the other posts (even if there aren’t very many).

  • tokeepmysanity

    I noticed the soda size issue a few months back. Wendy’s has taken a medium to the next level, for sure. And the only thing worse than a diet coke that doesn’t quite fit in your cup holder, is trying to pick it up one-handed while driving and only the lid coming with you while the monstrous beverage is tipping and spilling along the console. Sorry to rant, but I just had to share!

    Found your blog yesterday from “Freshly Pressed” and I just love it! Thanks for the entertainment! =)

  • b2ft1c

    The soda thing happens to me all the time! I just started asking for a normal sized drink. It works most of the time.

  • gryffkin

    First off, I love the whole premise of your blog. Second off, I’m glad I’m not the only one who enjoys waking up before the alarm goes off. It’s like a tiny little victory over my personal electronic overlord. It says “I don’t need you, I can manage my own sleep cycle!”

Join the Discussion

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: