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Is that what you are wearing?

Sweet

Finishing a book 

I don’t have a lot of time to read these days so on the off-chance I do actually make it to the end of the book I feel like there should be some kind of award at the end.  Do you feel the same need to tell someone that you finished a book?  I obviously am not well read enough.  I will admit to having a short attention span, I will routinely get distracted on the most menial of tasks.  Translation – “Honey why is the washing machine running with no clothes in it?”  I tend to start lots of things and have lots of ideas but sometimes struggle a bit with the follow through.  I mean if the over/under on the longevity of this blog being maintained was set at 3 months I would probably take the under and I am the one that writes it.  That may be why I was particularly satisfied with myself to finish a book this week.  There are 3 books that I was currently reading and let’s be honest, the other two are probably not going to be finished.  A particularly interesting observation of my recent literary conquest is that I read almost the entire book on my phone.  I would find time putting the baby to sleep, waiting at the doctor’s office, on important conference calls to read a bit here and there.  The funny thing about reading a book on your phone is that (Dear mom, I will call you and explain how this is possible) you don’t realize how close you are to the end.  There are no dog-eared pages or realizing you are only 20 pages away.  I just read along until BAM it was over.  I realize that this is starting to sound like some case study in a freshman psychology text-book.   The point is, it feels great to complete something.  So, if you have just finished a book, good job buddy! (I just googled if it was OK to start a sentence with the word so.)  Where was I?  Oh yeah, finishing a book, totally sweet.

Weak

Is that what you are wearing? 

You know there was a time in my life that I not only had the ability to dictate my own wardrobe choices but also was effective enough in those decisions that I was deemed attractive enough by someone to decide to spend the rest of her life with me.  Not that my wife married me because of my tight rolling talents or the ability to curl the laces of those old bass shoes everyone used to wear.  Somewhere though, over the last 10 years of marriage either my cutting edge sense of style has dulled or my wife’s confidence in my wardrobe selections has diminished.  I am embarrassed to admit that I have on more than one occasion gotten that judgmental eye from her prior to going somewhere and jumped back into the closet to put on a different shirt.  This is not an everyday occurrence and it isn’t as if she has hung one of those “days of the week closet organizers” so she can plan my outfits.  Sadly though, I have been on the receiving end of the question “Is that what you are wearing?”  “Uh…….no, I just put this on after my shower to wear while I decided what I was going to wear.”   Is it possible that I am the only one that this has ever happened to?  It isn’t like I am trying to leave the house wearing socks and sandals or one of those “Big Johnson” T-shirts.  I do realize that my wife enjoys me being her arm candy while we are out in public but the wardrobe judgment is a bit emasculating.  There is a better way to do this ladies, (assuming that this happens to more than just me) all guys are total suckers for compliments and ego boosts, so the next time he walks out of the closet with a Hawaiian shirt and a fanny pack, don’t crush his ego.  Just tell him you were hoping he was going to wear that one shirt because you love the way it looks on him.  We will never even realize that you thought we looked like an idiot in our original selection, we will be too busy feeling like a stud in that shirt you love.

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About Simon

I am a husband and a dad of two little girls. I am a lone Y chromosome and am already planning my escape strategy to deal with the estrogen flood that is on its way. People say there is a lot of joy to be found in the simple things and I have found they can provide a healthy dose of anti-awesome as well. I am, in general, a pretty optimistic guy and needed a bit of a creative outlet; so here it is. Thanks for stopping by. View all posts by Simon

6 responses to “Is that what you are wearing?

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