Sweet
Innocent
image via Precious Moments
As is chronicled in this blog (that as of Sept. 6 has now been cluttering up a corner of the internet for an entire year), I have some ladies in my life. Three of them residing inside our humble abode (maybe more but its hard to tell with fish). There is not a place in my house that I can go where I am not within arm’s reach of at least 3 ponytail holders. That being said, they all seem to vanish when we needed to be out the door five minutes ago. I wouldn’t trade being the only Y chromosome in this house for the world but it can present some interesting challenges. The hair and shoe wars have already begun and sometimes I can get caught in the cross-fire. It isn’t that I don’t want to help. I have offered to do the girl’s hair on a number of occasions but my beautiful wife prefers that they not look like hobo children.
They may be getting older and bigger, but they are still my little girls and dad’s have a way of seeing past the tantrum and fall sucker to their innocent requests. It’s not that I always want to play the “good cop” but often it is the only role left. Sadly, that isn’t because my wife likes to play “bad cop” but rather because I am predictable and my past performances of being a push over are already becoming evident.
I’m not saying I let the women in my house manipulate me, it’s just that most of the time, the women in my house manipulate me. The sad thing is, right now they are too young to even mask their intentions. I see right through them and still cave in. For example, last week, our soon to be two-year old came up to me at bedtime and said “daddy, I lay in your big bed so you can snuggle me?” I knew it was bed time, I knew the importance of her sleeping in her bed. I also knew that one day I would wish with all my heart for her to say something like that, so I folded like a cheap suit and into my bed we went.
That is just one example of many and I feel bad for the future dudes in their lives. Sorry guys, I was helpless against it too. The thing is, the innocence in what they want and the smiles I can create with simple wish granting will probably be gone soon. So for now, within reason, daddy caves in and most of the time when he does, it is totally sweet.
Weak
Diabolical
I shouldn’t have to site this, but it’s Obi Wan from Star Wars. Duh.
I know what you were thinking reading that first part. This guy is setting a bad precedent. Discipline can be a slippery slope and if he can’t say no to them now, it will only get worse and their requests will only turn more demanding. Don’t go and call child services just yet, I say no plenty. The words no, and be careful, are probably spoken by me more often than any other, even if they do fall on deaf ears from time to time.
Most of the time the requests of my little angels are innocent and pure of heart but I can already sense a twinge of diabolical in each of them. The little one knows how to tilt her head and give me that cutie pie face when all she really wants are fruit snacks, and the oldest knows how to say daaaady with just the right tone and inflection to get my attention before asking me to turn on the Disney channel.
I love my wife and my two daughters more than you can probably imagine but I recognize they outnumber me and it is important that a situation never arises where sides are chosen. I can see them getting smarter. I know that they pay attention and pick up on things that I may not even notice. I am not suggesting that as women they are pre-wired to be resourceful and use highly developed tactics of manipulation to get the things that they want. I am saying that from time to time I have been fooled and in hindsight realized that they knew exactly what they were doing and it was scary smart. I know that it isn’t three against one and my wife recognizes it more often than I do and works to put a stop to it. Without her, I may be in trouble. She notices the subtlety that I am too obtuse to recognize. She is the master. In fact, that is worrisome in its own right. If my girls are paying close enough attention, they will probably, one day, be able to execute ninja moves like the one that took place in my house this week:
Beautiful Wife: I was thinking we should have Thanksgiving at our house this year. It has been a while and everyone had such a good time. My mom still talks about that turkey you made.
Me: OK
(3 days later)
Beautiful Wife: We need a new dining room table.
Did anyone get the number of that bus that just hit me? It was as if she waved her hand across my eyes and Jedi mind tricked me saying “these are not the droids you’re looking for.” I’m not saying she is Yoda (because she hates short jokes) but you have to recognize skill when you see it. I couldn’t be happier or more blessed to share my life with these three amazing women (and possibly above average fish). I love them more than words but when you recognize that you’ve been Jedi mid tricked and the innocence has turned diabolical, it’s totally weak.
Note
I was skeptical when I wrote my first post over a year ago if I would be able to maintain something like this. It has been an enjoying way to tap into a creative side that I let sit covered for too long. This was my wife’s idea and I love her for seeing things in me that I don’t always see myself. I have a pretty ordinary life when looked at from the outside but getting the pleasure of being in it with my 3 beautiful girls is as extraordinary as it gets from my vantage point.
I truly appreciate you all that take time out of your day to wander by and read. The posts may not be coming quite as consistently lately but I assure you that I am still around and have no plans of going anywhere. Thank you all for helping make the last 12 months an awakening of sorts for me, you are the best.
-Simon
Simon C. Holland 
October 24th, 2012 at 10:19 am
I wanna hear more about the fish. I feel they’re underexposed in some way. 😉
http://www.dexterwaweru.wordpress.com/2012/09/30/information/
October 2nd, 2012 at 7:00 am
Reblogged this on thebeamendoza.
October 2nd, 2012 at 7:00 am
Reblogged this on thebeamendoza.
September 20th, 2012 at 11:44 pm
Holy crap I can so totally relate to pretty much all of this, Simon. And you’re right that we can’t imagine how much you love all your ladies – I can’t really get my brain around how much I love my three girls, much less think about another dad. Great great post.
September 25th, 2012 at 9:33 am
Thank you Sid, I appreciate your kind words and they mean even more knowing you have a house full of girls yourself.
September 20th, 2012 at 6:56 am
Dad’s rock. Dads and daughters are the best, this was terribly sweet. My dad had 7 daughters and a special relationship with each of us.
September 20th, 2012 at 10:50 am
Thanks so much, it is a special relationship for sure. Holy cow, 7? Someone get that guy a trophy.
September 19th, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Hi Simon,
First, congrats on your one year landmark! Maybe the fact that you are still going will get me back in. But on the topic you were discussing-
Little girls and dada have a special relationship. My husband has always been my daughter’s favorite. This summer she turned 16 (believe me it goes fast). As a special present, instead of a big party, he took her on a trip to Europe for a week. It was a great chance for them to bond and solidify their relationship. The scary note is that last weekend we took her to Boston to look at colleges, In two years she will be out in the world!
So my advice to you is, now is the time to build your connections to your girls. They will be gone before you know it so make sure you are the senior ranking (I didn’t say primary) man in their lives.
September 20th, 2012 at 10:49 am
Wow, that sounds like an amazing trip and a great time to really build some lifetime memories and solidify the foundation of the relationship. I appreciate the kind words and will definitely be building those connections with mine.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:30 pm
As a daughter with two sisters and no brothers, I see your situation from the eyes of the mischievous. I love your writing and this post in particular; keep it up!
Dads rock!
September 20th, 2012 at 10:43 am
Thanks so much!
September 19th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Love this one! Sounds like they’re catching on quickly and learning from the master. 😉 Congrats on one year of blogging!!
September 19th, 2012 at 2:24 pm
Thanks Audrey!
September 19th, 2012 at 10:16 am
Simon, I’m glad you listened to your lovely wife. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you and your family through your posts. You have a way of making some of life’s simplest pleasures true gold.
With all posts I read, quantity is not what I am looking for. Quality is what will keep me reading and you provide that above and beyond. So, no worries we will be here whenever you are.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:21 am
You are so sweet. I don’t know about quality but I try my best. I keep the quantity is better than quality mantra for twitter so sorry you have to trudge through some of my brainspill there too. You are the best.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:55 am
Are you kidding? I find myself spitting out liquid laughing at a twitter post and when I look to see who it is it is almost always you. Hysterical!
September 19th, 2012 at 11:24 am
Aww shucks, thanks.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:07 am
Keep this up, Simon. It is heartfelt, well-written, with a unique format. You have some natural talent, and your wife was right to encourage you to start this blog. I see a book in your future!
September 19th, 2012 at 10:19 am
Lisa, that means so much coming from you. Such kind and thoughtful words. I don’t know about books or anything like that but if I can keep the blog up and people continue to enjoy it, that will be a win in my book.
September 19th, 2012 at 9:40 am
So ,you are a push over, sometimes, your girls will love you for it!
This was very sweet! Especially, the cuddle me daddy story.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:18 am
Thanks so much for reading, yeah push over is the right word for it. I topple easily.
September 19th, 2012 at 4:14 am
“So for now, within reason, daddy caves in and most of the time when he does, it is totally sweet” – keep doing it Simon and one day you’ll have the gift of not having any regrets. Great post.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:17 am
Thanks so much Don,
I am sure there will be some regret, there always is but you are right, minimize it as much as possible to make the memories even better.
September 19th, 2012 at 3:05 am
That was simply the funniest post! I love your style of writing, and your family sounds adorable!
September 19th, 2012 at 3:03 am
That was simply the funniest post! I love your style of writing, and your family sounds adorable.
September 18th, 2012 at 5:09 pm
Happy blog birthday! It’s totally sweet to reach such a milestone and be able to bring smiles to people’s lives.
This post made me crack up, I think I love your wife, dude.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:15 am
I really appreciate that. Yeah she is pretty awesome but sneaky awesome on the dining room table thing. I can ‘t help but respect it.
September 18th, 2012 at 2:13 pm
I love the sweet and weak format you write in. Congrats on a year of blogging!
You probably have the best insight about how the minds of females evolve through childhood. I am sure kids are smart enough to manipulate their behavior as per the response they evoke. This response—in case of females—is one of giving in to cute persuasion. I am sure boys try out whatever works best for them too.
September 19th, 2012 at 10:15 am
Thanks so much for that. You are right, I have a good place to watch these minds develop and yes, even as an adult I still try to find what works best for me too.
September 18th, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Hi. Listen. Ever since you forced me to join Twitter (ok, like 3 months ago you said I should maybe consider it and I only joined a week ago), I have been MIA from WordPress. I understand that a busy life mixed with this Twitter ordeal puts longer pieces on the back-burner, but this was one of the sweetest things I have ever read, so I’m pleased to hear you don’t plan to go anywhere. Otherwise, I would be forced to email you and ask for some similar sort of update because the echoes of my voice throughout my home are not enough to sustain happiness….. and that would just be weird.
I think what I’m trying to say is, yay, thanks for posting.
Your pal,
Lauren
September 18th, 2012 at 2:01 pm
Wow Lauren,
That really means a lot and I appreciate such kind words. I’ll do my best to keep you from getting weird(er). The twitter thing, its so fast and easy but still it can suck you in as well. Don’t say you weren’t warned.
September 18th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Great post! I do so enjoy when a guy knows he’s being had…and works with it!
September 18th, 2012 at 1:57 pm
Thanks! yeah, better to go in knowing what awaits right?
September 18th, 2012 at 1:24 pm
I actually love your sweet and weak format, and I think there’s plenty more you can do with it. Congrats on one year!
And your kids sound precious. We all let our women manipulate us a little. It’s part of keeping them happy—which makes our world a lot less noisy 😉
September 18th, 2012 at 1:56 pm
Thanks Bharat, I really appreciate it. Yes I always tell them that they may think they are playing me but it is all part of my master plan to lull them into a false sense of security, get them right where I want them and……just say yes again because who am I kidding.
September 18th, 2012 at 1:06 pm
Smart ladies, every one – right down to the cross-dressing fish!! I love you posts whenever they come. I always know I am guaranteed a laugh and that is priceless. Hope you keep it up for years to come!!
September 18th, 2012 at 12:59 pm
I’m surrounded by testosterone so I know not of what you speak. Then again, boys can work their own magic. I know very well that my teenager wants something when he smiles at me and gives me an unexpected hug. But I’ll take it anyway. 🙂
September 18th, 2012 at 1:54 pm
haha yeah, even hollow affection can still be affection.
September 18th, 2012 at 6:01 pm
Yes, this is me too. My boys have their ways to get what they want. Sometimes it works… The eldest, 16, has taken to saying “muuuu-me” really? But he was silly enough to tell why when I asked him. I wouldn’t trade them for the world. Love your work Simon, keep it coming. 🙂
September 18th, 2012 at 6:09 pm
Yeah, I’ll keep mine, too. 🙂
September 19th, 2012 at 10:16 am
I think boys and girls try and figure out what they can leverage to get what they want. Sometimes we have to stay strong but sometimes caving can be a lot of fun. Thanks so much Jennifer.
September 18th, 2012 at 12:35 pm
I have to disagree with out dear Brig because it does matter how often you post because I miss you! This made me teary for when my girls were little ones. And your baby is still a baby and should snuggle with you as much as she wants! My 13 year old has returned to my bed for the time being and that’s fine with me.
On the other hand, I still have to tell my ex-husband, “she’s working you, you know that, right?”
Girls will be girls!
xo mags
September 18th, 2012 at 12:43 pm
Thanks Mags,
I have missed everyone too. Your words are too kind. I will snuggle as long as I can, and yes sometimes we either can’t see it or choose not to notice when we are getting worked.
Thanks for reading
September 18th, 2012 at 12:19 pm
Yeah, girls are like that…and dogs, too. My husband, the father of three girls, keeps that pushover core in shape with the dog: there’s nothing he can deny the dog! Good thing you’ve got fish! lol
September 18th, 2012 at 12:24 pm
Haha, luckily the fish haven’t figured out a way to get to my soft spot yet. I think we are safe for now. Thanks for reading!
September 18th, 2012 at 12:13 pm
Simon, you don’t stand a chance — you know that right? Of course your little girls (and your beautiful wife) know exactly which buttons to push. What’s the saying? The man is the head (of the household) but the woman is the neck and the neck can make the head turn any way she wants. That’s the way God intended it to be, dude. Accept it and it sounds as if you have. :).
All kidding aside, this was one of those “makes my heart/soul feel so good” to read. You are perfectly right for giving into your little precious girls and you know full well that if mama’s not happy nobody’s happy. My wonderful husband knows this and abides by it.
It doesn’t matter how frequently or infrequently you post, you’ll always have followers that enjoy reading your sweet and weak musings — they’re always great. You mentioned your wife encouraged you to write this blog. My husband did the same and still does.
Congrats on your doing this for a year! Here’s to many more great posts!
September 18th, 2012 at 12:23 pm
Such kind words Brigitte, and I appreciate them so much. Also choc full of wisdom about the neck thing haha. Thanks so much for reading and always having such nice things to say. I appreciate it so much.