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Tag Archives: books

My Christmas Card to You

Sometimes if we have Christmas cards left over I will wait until Dec. 22 and mail them out to our “fringe friends” just to make them feel guilty. This year I thought I would try to get on the good list for once and share what we sent to our friends and family with you. It can’t be all great but even with the weak parts, it is still my favorite time of the year.

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This is me. Christmas morning nineteen eighty awesome

 

Some parts of Christmas make it the best time of the year. Other parts, not so much.

Sweet

  • The look on tiny faces as they peer up into the attic anxiously awaiting the first box of Christmas decorations.
  • That moment when the tree is finally lit and decorated and the floor is vacuumed and you can sit back and take in one of the first moments of Christmas.
  • Electricity is in the air, presents are being hidden, elves are up to mischief, children are on their best behavior. The anticipation starts to build slowly and if you’re lucky it becomes almost tangible.
  • The best sing along music of the year, even when your wife tells you to let Whitney hit the high notes in O Holy Night by herself.
  • Pausing the hustle and bustle to read aloud about what happened that night in the little town of Bethlehem.

 

Weak

  • Shouldn’t Christmas decorations come with coupons for couples counseling?
  • Sorry honey, I tried to dry my hair without following the steps on the Christmas light electrical flow chart you made and now all the lights in the house are out.
  • Stands of Christmas lights that only light halfway are the reason for the first spiking of eggnog.
  • I think I just found a Frasier Fir needle in my underwear.
  • Do people still use the word tight to mean cool? Because that would make me feel better about how last year’s Christmas sweater fits

I hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday and 2015 brings happiness to you and yours.

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I lost a dear family member this year that was one of my favorite people to laugh with. We made this the day we were remembering him. Miss you Uncle Wayne.

 

WAIT!

Oh, one more thing. I got to be part of a very cool project this year and join with 30 other writers to create The Big Book of Parenting Tweets These writers are insanely funny and I was honored to be included with them. If you are a parent, have a parent, know a parent, or are thinking of becoming a parent, you should buy this book. It is full of short snippets of the raw and honest side of parenthood and it will leave you laughing out loud. Seriously, it is great. Ok, pitch over.

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I’m not saying it can teach your kids to read but I think this photo speaks for itself.

 

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Is that what you are wearing?

Sweet

Finishing a book 

I don’t have a lot of time to read these days so on the off-chance I do actually make it to the end of the book I feel like there should be some kind of award at the end.  Do you feel the same need to tell someone that you finished a book?  I obviously am not well read enough.  I will admit to having a short attention span, I will routinely get distracted on the most menial of tasks.  Translation – “Honey why is the washing machine running with no clothes in it?”  I tend to start lots of things and have lots of ideas but sometimes struggle a bit with the follow through.  I mean if the over/under on the longevity of this blog being maintained was set at 3 months I would probably take the under and I am the one that writes it.  That may be why I was particularly satisfied with myself to finish a book this week.  There are 3 books that I was currently reading and let’s be honest, the other two are probably not going to be finished.  A particularly interesting observation of my recent literary conquest is that I read almost the entire book on my phone.  I would find time putting the baby to sleep, waiting at the doctor’s office, on important conference calls to read a bit here and there.  The funny thing about reading a book on your phone is that (Dear mom, I will call you and explain how this is possible) you don’t realize how close you are to the end.  There are no dog-eared pages or realizing you are only 20 pages away.  I just read along until BAM it was over.  I realize that this is starting to sound like some case study in a freshman psychology text-book.   The point is, it feels great to complete something.  So, if you have just finished a book, good job buddy! (I just googled if it was OK to start a sentence with the word so.)  Where was I?  Oh yeah, finishing a book, totally sweet.

Weak

Is that what you are wearing? 

You know there was a time in my life that I not only had the ability to dictate my own wardrobe choices but also was effective enough in those decisions that I was deemed attractive enough by someone to decide to spend the rest of her life with me.  Not that my wife married me because of my tight rolling talents or the ability to curl the laces of those old bass shoes everyone used to wear.  Somewhere though, over the last 10 years of marriage either my cutting edge sense of style has dulled or my wife’s confidence in my wardrobe selections has diminished.  I am embarrassed to admit that I have on more than one occasion gotten that judgmental eye from her prior to going somewhere and jumped back into the closet to put on a different shirt.  This is not an everyday occurrence and it isn’t as if she has hung one of those “days of the week closet organizers” so she can plan my outfits.  Sadly though, I have been on the receiving end of the question “Is that what you are wearing?”  “Uh…….no, I just put this on after my shower to wear while I decided what I was going to wear.”   Is it possible that I am the only one that this has ever happened to?  It isn’t like I am trying to leave the house wearing socks and sandals or one of those “Big Johnson” T-shirts.  I do realize that my wife enjoys me being her arm candy while we are out in public but the wardrobe judgment is a bit emasculating.  There is a better way to do this ladies, (assuming that this happens to more than just me) all guys are total suckers for compliments and ego boosts, so the next time he walks out of the closet with a Hawaiian shirt and a fanny pack, don’t crush his ego.  Just tell him you were hoping he was going to wear that one shirt because you love the way it looks on him.  We will never even realize that you thought we looked like an idiot in our original selection, we will be too busy feeling like a stud in that shirt you love.


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