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Tag Archives: TV

Crying Games

Sweet

Kissing Boo-boos 

This sticker sucks, where is the princess?

This sticker sucks, where is the princess?

My kids can go from adorable and well-behaved to faking an injury in the speed of being told no.  Injuries have always been spotlight grabbers and kids are smart.  We go through band aids like paper towels because let’s be honest, band aids are just princess stickers that come with sympathy and attention.  Could there be anything better to have for a toddler.  So yeah, I recognize that when I hear, “I NEED A BAND AID” it rarely is warranted and often the location of said boo-boo can mysteriously relocate in the time it takes to get the wrapper off of the sticker band-aid.  That’s because keeping tabs on the locale of imaginary injuries can be a tough job.

There is a real benefit to those little bumps and bruises though, both real and imaginary ones.  It gives me a chance to kiss something and make it better.  Even though my lips have no magical healing abilities, as long as I am dad and they are little, kisses get to be better than medicine because they make everything feel better. There is definitely some magic in that.  When we grow up tears usually have so much stress fueling them that kisses and hugs seem to lose their luster. I try to remember how lucky I am to be able to provide the kind of comfort that a parent gives their child and though some level of that will always remain, this is the time that it is really special.  For example, go find an adult that is crying and start to tickle them and see what happens.  One of the greatest things about being a parent is being able to make everything better in their eyes even on days that you can’t seem to get anything right in yours.  Seeing a tiny little smile begin to blossom out of a face puddle of tears is totally sweet.

 

Weak

There Will Be Tears 

I don't want crust on my sandwich!

I don’t want crust on my sandwich!

Speaking of face puddles, toddlers are crazy good at crying.  In their defense, if I was just beginning to learn and understand that I was a part of a whole big world instead of the whole big world being a part of me I may get a bit verklempt as well. I’m not suggesting that our little one isn’t still the boss of us in a lot of ways but she is starting to figure out that the whole baby thing where the world and everyone in it revolved around her was only temporary.  That is probably a tough pill to swallow and for the most part she is handling that kind of life changing realization rather gracefully but every now and then the reality slaps her cold in the face and she isn’t in the mood to deal with it.

She doesn’t know how to do a ton of stuff yet but for as far back as she can remember tears got results.  Granted back then she was crying because she needed a clean diaper and now the tears may be because butterflies won’t talk to her or her mean parents won’t let her mix Skittles with Cheerios and milk for breakfast.  When she was a baby the only reasons her cries weren’t tended to immediately was If they went unheard. Well, Captain Lung Capacity has no struggle with upping the volume  and if that doesn’t work, then the real exasperation begins to set in.  I’ve even had her suddenly stop mid sob to look up at me and say, “DADDY, I’M CRYING!”  Like anyone in our house or on our street didn’t hear her.  There should be a game show where parents of toddlers have to guess if the cries of a 2-year-old are the result of an appendage stuck in a piece of running farm machinery or if they got an orange Popsicle when they wanted a red one.

Toddler-hood is the gateway into a brave new world and I need to remind myself that it isn’t all roses and sunshine for them either.  I should also keep in mind that If I am going to call them a jerk under my breath I had better make sure it is way under my breath because the lady at the grocery store doesn’t understand but is happy to offer her parenting critique.  Like apparently suggesting that your kid  can use the tears streaming down her face to wash down the two more bites of carrots (that basically make up 79% of her entire lunch) you are begging her to eat is not good form.

I am lucky that these times are less and less frequent and love them no matter what causes the crying but when it is because they aren’t allowed to paint the TV, it is totally weak.

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Time to Decorate the Christmas Branch

Sweet

I Think it is Leaning a Little to the Left.

There is no “real or fake” debate in my house when it comes to Christmas Trees.  I have had a real tree every Christmas of my life and have no plan to stop anytime soon.  I understand the convenience of only having to “put your tree together” but as for me and my house?  We will embrace the challenge of tackling the wild outdoors and domesticating a part of Mother Nature to put into our living room for a month.  I really love everything about the entire process;  from picking out the right one, to stringing the lights, to vacuuming up needles and scrubbing the sap off your hands with that grainy soap that hurts.

I can remember as a kid how going out to find a Christmas Tree was a huge part of the season for our family and we always had a real one.  Even during times when money was tight, dad would just kind of leave the house one afternoon with a bow saw and come back an hour later with a Christmas (ish) Tree.   I learned two great Christmas tree tips from my dad growing up.  The first being that the best time to pick out a Christmas Tree is on a cold rainy day in early December because you will have the pick of the lot and not have to compete with anyone else being there.  The second piece of advice (and one I have truly taken to heart) is that the only way you can be sure that you don’t end up with wasted space between the top of your Christmas tree and your ceiling is to start with something a smidge too big and work your way from there.  I am fortunate enough to have a house with vaulted ceilings in the living room now (because it was a strict selection criteria for this exact purpose) and I love filling that usually empty space with 12 feet of wilderness.  From the wrestle to get it up and straight, to finding the “front”, to being in your own real live vacuum commercial every day sucking up needles, having a (huge) live Christmas Tree is totally sweet.

P.S.

The title of this post is from a Christmas special I remember from childhood.  “Emmit Otter’s Jugband Christmas”  anyone else remember it?

Weak

I Just Saw that Thing the Other Day 

If any of you have any idea of where the remote to the TV in our bedroom is, any clues would be appreciated.  You see, around Tuesday of this week it went missing, and things just haven’t been the same since.  We have a likely suspect who enjoys picking up objects she can reach and carrying them around our house until she tires of the object and just drops it in whatever location she happens to be at the time.  The problem with this suspect is that she is impervious to my interrogation techniques.  Instead of being coerced to come clean with what she knows,  she just looks at me funny and mashes a handful of Cherios into her mouth, eating one and dropping the rest on the floor.  Then she smiles and talks some gibberish while I plead with her to tell me where she put it.

I hate losing anything and have an uncanny knack for knowing that I just saw something somewhere in our house and now have zero ability to link any images or clues together to remember where I saw it.  I wold venture to say that rarely a week goes by in my house without hearing at least one “I FOUND IT” being shouted from the basement or down the hall by the linen closet.  Sometimes we just accept that something is lost and know that it will turn up, other times we tear our house apart like our lives depend on it.  I hate to sound shallow here but losing a TV remote always results in the latter.  I honestly have no use for the television without the remote, to me it is like a bowl of cereal without any milk.

We are still looking for it, but thanks to the late Steve Jobs I am able to control my TV with an app on my phone so that is pretty clutch.  I am sure that we will find it eventually, tucked away in a shoe deep in a closet or mixed  in with a thousand other pieces of plastic in  her toy box.  Actually, those are two really good suggestions for places to look. sometimes I impress myself.  I guess until it does show up, we will continue to rough it like pioneers changing channels with our smart phones but not being able to control the volume.  Losing stuff is totally weak.


Creating a Person

Sweet

Creating a Person 

She was just a smidge bigger than a bag of sugar the first time I held her.  I took her in my arms peered out the hospital window  and showed her the sun rising above the Georgia pines.  It was her very first sunrise on her very first day.  The 364 days since then have been full of other firsts.   Not just for her, but for her parents and her sister as well.  We have grown as a family and gelled as a team.  In many ways she is still the boss of this household with all of her “I need to eat and can’t feed myself” and “Change my diaper!” demands that refuse to neatly reside on the outsides of our sleep schedule.  I told someone once that the predominant feeling when I became a dad was more.  After becoming a father you still do a lot of the same things you did before but for me they just all seemed more.  I guess a world-changing focus can have a way of accentuating even the most menial tasks.  When our littlest one was born I felt that same moreness but there was also a feeling of togetherness that has only grown stronger over the last 12 months.  I look back now and can’t imagine how things were before we all got to share in her joy and curiosity.  She seems to not only complete our little family but also add hope and possibility that we hadn’t even considered.  To say the least, I am smitten with this growing babbling toddling bundle of joy.  Tonight I only stopped squeezing her because I was afraid she would break.  She is one of my greatest accomplishments and even though I seem to have checked humor at the door in this post, I can already tell how much she loves to laugh, and that makes me swell inside.  I am a lucky man and today I reflect and look forward celebrating a first birthday of a little person that we created.  We made a person?  How sweet is that?!?!

 

Weak

Having your car worked on 

This post could write itself, as there are a litany of frustrations  associated with having your car repaired.  I join your dismay about having to dish over $350 to have my flux capacitor re-calibrated.  Parts for said capacitor always seem to have to be ordered from somewhere far away like Hill Valley, CA leaving you with another bummer proposition: the loaner or rental car.  If you haven’t needed to rent a car in a while you can rest assured that when you do a couple of things will happen.  Fist of all, the key chain for your rental car will be like something they keep behind the counter at a gas station you would never want to stop at to use the restroom.  Seriously, this thing can hardly fit in my pocket and I am fairly certain it doubles as a flotation device in case of emergency.  In bold letters along this giant key-chain it says, replacement keys cost a bajillion dollars.  I get what they are doing here but I would rather not have to carry one of those wheely briefcases just to hold my car keys. The second certainty when renting a car is that once you (or your spouse, probably your spouse) returns home you will realize that your garage door opener is still clipped to your visor at the repair shop.  This is a minor trouble assuming that you still carry a key to your house with you at all times.  Surely there aren’t people out there so irresponsible that they wouldn’t even carry a key to their own home.  I mean, depending on your garage door opener as your only means for entering your abode is not very well thought out.  What if the power is out or something?  Luckily no one does that so forgetting your garage door opener is only a minor problem.  No one is sitting in their driveway right now writing a blog post from their car.    Getting your car worked on is totally weak. I hope my wife gets home soon, I really wanted to watch “The Sing Off.”


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