Are We There Yet??

Necessity is the Mother of Invention


This morning I had the pleasurable experience of getting caught in a traffic jam when the interstate I was on was closed due to an accident.  I take these kind of things in stride fairly well but this particular bit of traffic put me in park sitting completely still for 68 minutes.  It was raining and I was in the left lane boxed in by two large trucks.

Lately I have been adhering to all of the health advice out there about staying hydrated and drinking plenty of water.  At minute 55 of the traffic standstill I realized some sort of action needed to be taken and I did not have extra pants.  Below is a picture of the emergency urinal I constructed.  Luckily upon completion of the build traffic began to move and I found relief at a nearby service station.  If you are interested in helping me patent this object please let me know.

Getting stuck in traffic is completely weak.


About Simon

I am a husband and a dad of two little girls. I am a lone Y chromosome and am already planning my escape strategy to deal with the estrogen flood that is on its way. People say there is a lot of joy to be found in the simple things and I have found they can provide a healthy dose of anti-awesome as well. I am, in general, a pretty optimistic guy and needed a bit of a creative outlet; so here it is. Thanks for stopping by. View all posts by Simon

12 responses to “Are We There Yet??

  • Coy Gach

    Your means of describing everything in this piece of writing is genuinely pleasant, all be able to effortlessly be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

  • westsideluxeliving

    Reblogged this on westsideluxeliving and commented:
    Soo Funny and creative. I think we have all been there.

  • angelsail

    Too funny! If I had any extra time at all, I think this would be a wise investment. I once had to pee inside of an extra large Jack’s fast food cup. The joys of being on an Alabama highway where all the gas stations close early. Funny thing is, I filled the whole thing up, had to pour, and begin again. Not cool. Do you know how hard it is to stop midstream? That’s a whole lot of muscles I don’t have apparently.

    The best part of this story is when I had to call my then boyfriend and tell him that I needed to use his washing machine to wash my pee pants because the drop-exchange didn’t work out so well.

    Nothing like that in the world. “Yo, honey, can I wash my pants at your house. I peed myself.”


    In my younger days, I did some mountain climbing in Alaska.The temperature at night was always way below freezing. We used a Pee Bottle at night as an alternative to going outside the tent. We slept with the bottle to keep it from freezing as it thus becomes useless. It takes only a little imagination to realize why we were very careful when using the bottle in the sleeping bag.
    The Old Machinist

  • Julie

    First of all, I would like to point out that my work computer blocks any photos that come with these posts, so I had 12 hours to wonder what you created.

    Second of all, that sharp edge along the top looks terrifying.

    • Simon

      I was nervous about that jagged edge too but had come to terms with the risk. So glad I didn’t have to use it. I sure any contraption you imagined was way cooler than what I actually built.

  • wheresmytbackandotherstories

    Very creative! Guys are lucky in this department 😀

  • kzackuslheureux

    I’ll never foget my buddies and their “warm” apple juice bottles. Men have it soooo easy! 😉

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