September 23, 2011

Nothing Starts the Morning Like a Good Dose of Panic.

By Simon

Sweet

Remembering to buy stamps 

There used to be a time that stamps were kind of staple in most houses with all of the bill paying and the letter writing and old-fashioned correspondence.  Now with email and online bill pay, the only time you need stamps are when you are sending Christmas cards or Birthday invitations.  Maybe it’s because we only buy them 3-4 times per year but we basically have to build in a one week “forgot to get stamps” buffer zone in our planning for mailing stuff.  It goes something like writing the word STAMPS on a note on the refrigerator, forgetting them and then circling the word a couple of times like that is going to ingrain the concept into our brains enough that stamps are all we think about.  Usually, there is no less than 3 times that we drive away from a grocery store and as we exit one of us exclaims ‘STAMPS!!”  We look at each other and shrug and then drive on knowing  hoping that soon one of us will triumph over forgetfulness and  get the chore done.  If I manage during that week to remember to pick up stamps somewhere, I usually present them to my wife followed by some silly touchdown celebration dance.  Finally remembering that thing that you keep forgetting is totally sweet.  Yesterday we got a bright orange envelope in the mail that we can put a check into (if we can find the checkbook that never gets used anymore) and the mail-person will take the money and leave stamps in our mailbox!  How are the most obvious ideas sometimes the most elusive?  This solves all of those stamp forgetting problems.  But I can see it now somewhere down the road written on note on the fridge circled three times “find orange stamp envelope!!”

Weak

Forgetting it is Trash Day 

Surely I am not the only one that has been in the kitchen at 6:00 A.M. with their eyes still half closed trying to figure out if the best way to wake up would be to just make a pot of coffee or get in a fight about whose turn it was to set the coffee pot timer.  Well it is at a moment like that still adjusting my eyes to the blaring kitchen light that I will hear a gentle rumbling down the block and instantly have a bolt of adrenaline course through my body and jolt me out of my haze.  Caffeine works great to wake you up but not near as much as the sudden panic that IT IS GARBAGE DAY!! and you forgot to put the can by the road. Instantly my mind sharpens and I have military type precision and focus.  I bound out of the house leaving modesty behind as I grab the can and make a dash for the curb in my pajamas. I see the truck coming down the street and realize I am going to make it in time.  My mind relaxes and I am victorious.  As my cat-like reflexes recoil and I breath in the sweet morning air I am wide awake and suddenly aware of a few things that didn’t garner my attention mid dash.  My feet are soaking wet from the dew, I really need to cut the grass, it is kind of chilly this morning, the fly on these boxers does not stay closed very good mid sprint and that is quite a draft, oh hey there are the neighbor’s kids walking to the bus stop.  That is one short-lived victory once you realize you are standing in your front yard in your underwear.  Why didn’t I just remember the night before?  Forgetting to take out the trash is totally weak.

About Simon

I am a husband and a dad of two little girls. I am a lone Y chromosome and am already planning my escape strategy to deal with the estrogen flood that is on its way. People say there is a lot of joy to be found in the simple things and I have found they can provide a healthy dose of anti-awesome as well. I am, in general, a pretty optimistic guy and needed a bit of a creative outlet; so here it is. Thanks for stopping by. View all posts by Simon
This entry was posted on Friday, September 23rd, 2011 at 10:44 am and tagged with , , , and posted in Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

222 responses to “Nothing Starts the Morning Like a Good Dose of Panic.”

Leave a reply to BOUND BY BOOKS – TEN BLOGGERS SHARE THEIR VIEWS – 9.26.11 « Horiwood's Blog Cancel reply