Sweet
Last night I was up until the early hours of the morning trapped in an anticipation fueled cycle of checking the weather app on my phone and stepping out onto the back porch to monitor the various forms of winter precipitation as they fell from the sky.
Is snow a body of water? Social media loves pictures of feet next to bodies of water.
My days are numbered
Even now in my thirties I can’t help but get excited about the prospect of a snow day. I guess it should be prefaced that I am a born and raised Georgian and in Georgia, snow is magic. When I was a kid, snow in Atlanta was like the universe just giving you an extra day.
A free day. A magic 24 hour period inserted between, “Oh crap, I haven’t even started that book report yet” and “Please turn in your book reports.” It meant your parents stayed home from work and played outside with you, it meant supplementing your not so winter wardrobe with bread bags on your feet and 3 pairs of socks because you had to wear tennis shoes in the snow, it meant hot chocolate and wet gloves hanging by the fire. Snow days in Georgia are made of happy even when your mom makes you wear a pair of tube socks for gloves with sandwich baggies on top because why would you need to own ski gloves down south? Snow days meant rummaging through the basement looking for anything that could be turned into a sled and playing until your hands were numb, your cheeks were red and you collapsed into the house one big freezing, soaking, pile of exhausted joy at the end of the day.
Weak
We’ve Lost that Lovin Feelin
Remember that time that our kids went to school? I think it was called 2013 and it was neat. I admit I went a bit overboard on the whole waxing poetic about the wonder of snow up there because the truth is, when a snow day overstays its welcome, the harsh reality sets in. This is the part when you see what you are really made of, when the loving family dynamic gets put to the ultimate test. Cabin Fever.
I admit using a pic from The Shining is a bit too obvious but some things are obvious because they are right.
It starts out innocent enough; a board game, an extra snack, a glass of wine or beer a bit earlier in the day than usual, a sarcastic remark to your spouse, a snap at your kid for making a mess. We don’t catch any of the warning signs because we don’t know how long we will be here. Somewhere along the way the sanity rope feels like it is starting to fray a bit and the local weather man showing the snow in his area becomes some bizarre backdrop back drop to your family’s de-evolution.
In what feels like an instant you are turning a blind eye to your kid eating a bowl of “skittles cereal” and you are dreaming about that Amazon droid helicopter thing delivering a case of booze to your frozen snowy doorstep. You become a bit numb to what your kids are up to as long as they keep it down and don’t get blood on anything as you settle into your own little wi-fi fueled haze. Cycling through social media, weather apps, and random google searches, you are suddenly curious if the U.S. just invented slopestyle to pad our Olympic stats. Eventually you start to wonder how long you have been sitting there. When did I take a shower last? Why are my children’s collective worldly possessions all in the living room? Did I just eat this entire can of Pringles? How long have I been wearing these pajama pants? Is it still snowing? No school again? What day is it? What year is it? Netflix is the only one in this house that truly understands me. How many lunches have we had today? Is there anything left my kids haven’t fought about?
Sound familiar? You start organizing games like the nap game and the prize is whichever kid falls asleep first doesn’t get a spanking. You gather the family around the table to work on a 1000 piece argument. You start wondering if you should send the internet a Valentine’s day card. You try to make the best of it by thinking of all of the great family memories the snow storm has provided but get interrupted because now that your kids have not played with every single toy that they have, they have resorted to taking breaks from fighting and crying to climb on stuff and jump off of furniture and you are pretty sure you need to find an ACE bandage so you can tie them up with it and MAKE IT STOP.
RIP Snowman, gunned down by the glorious thaw.
Being cooped up for days on end can push us right to that edge but somehow we hold on. Sibling rivalry wears itself out and sleep gives us the short respite we so desperately need. The thaw is coming and we just have to hang on and one day we will look back and only see the happy. When you are in the moment though, cabin fever is completely weak.
Simon C. Holland 
May 5th, 2014 at 11:57 am
I loved your article and found it very entertaining. Definitely gave it a ‘like.’ If you want to read another blog full of silliness, try Begoodorbgoodatit.com
February 18th, 2014 at 8:27 am
You absolutely nailed life in winter with kids in the house. It’s snowing again today. *sigh*
Even the cat is more bored than usual.
February 20th, 2014 at 3:13 pm
The good news is for Atlanta’s second snow I was in my house instead of my car. The bad news is, I was in my house instead of my car.
February 20th, 2014 at 4:10 pm
my sympathies 🙂
February 17th, 2014 at 9:01 am
It’s great to see you writing again, Simon. I grew up in Kentucky and we’d get a snow day, with like, the threat of sleet. A couple of inches and we’d be out for a week. I totally feel your pain with an accumulation of unanticipated snow days. Well, I would feel your pain but in Colorado we’ve had zero, zip, nada snow days this year, in part because we’re just that tough. And cool. And humble.
February 17th, 2014 at 6:12 pm
Thanks so much Stacie, the humbleness knows no bounds. It has been a fun winter in Atlanta as long as you are a fan of sleeping in your car and peeing in a Gatorade bottle.
February 16th, 2014 at 9:16 am
Please send that glorious thaw my way. I have been experiencing your”Weak” cabin fever since November. I’m pretty sure one of our doors even looks like that one in the “Shining” photo.
February 16th, 2014 at 9:43 am
I’ll do my best to send it your way, it has been some kind of winter!
February 15th, 2014 at 1:55 pm
do you mind if I recommend this on twitter?
February 15th, 2014 at 5:19 pm
Please do, thanks for reading.
February 14th, 2014 at 8:36 pm
I understand lol! We’re here in Georgia and I still have snow out in the yard.
February 14th, 2014 at 8:45 pm
It has been a very unGeorgia winter. Cheers to you!
February 14th, 2014 at 7:24 pm
Didn’t you have only one snow day in a row? I’m sitting here with 2, a weekend, and a holiday in a row.
February 14th, 2014 at 7:30 pm
Not this winter, we had 4 days this week!
February 14th, 2014 at 6:25 pm
I live in RI now, so there could be snow up to our nostrils and the schools are OPEN. But I remember some brutal cabin fever when we lived in Southern VA. It’s much worse when the kids are young. When you have teenagers like me, it’s kind of fun to laze around with them and watch bad movies all day then order pizza. Kinda like the day after a good frat party.
February 14th, 2014 at 6:46 pm
That sounds way better than a 3 and 7 year old. It’s been fun!
February 14th, 2014 at 5:16 pm
We just had snow last weekend. Being an Oregonian I have the same childish love of snow days that you do. Happily kids were at their dads so I was snowed in with dog, wine and husband. THAT is the perfect snow weekend. About Day 4, I needed to get out.
I think this is when today’s smaller families become a problem. At least when I was a kid, there were four of us so there were different pairings, teams, etc. that kids in today’s 2 child families can’t pull off. I remember my parents used to make us play Life and they would just sit and have cocktails and watch us because back then parents didn’t play with their children.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
February 14th, 2014 at 5:45 pm
Happy Valentine’s Day, I agree about the larger families, sometimes the only thing the number 2 seems perfect for is bickering haha. Thanks for reading, even though it has been forever!
February 14th, 2014 at 5:57 pm
I cain’t quit you.