**This is an excerpt from a post I wrote last year and a few people liked** Happy Thanksgiving.
I know that the Thanksgiving day meal gets all of the hype but come this time of year I start to crave one thing. The Thanksgiving sandwich. Either that night or the next day, cramming as many leftovers that you can fit between two slices of bread is the way I like to usher in the Holiday Season.
I am taking a break this year as I have been the CEO of the bird for the last 6 or so years. Cooking the turkey can be one of those manly culinary exhibitions like making a pot of chili or grilling. Last year I put a turkey on a giant Foster’s beer can and cooked it on an open flame just like baby Jesus intended man to cook. But this year I am taking it easy. So, since I don’t have to worry about targeting that 12 hour window far enough before Thursday that the store still has fresh sage but not too soon that it goes bad, I thought I would offer a couple of Turkey day tips.
1.Small servings. I don’t mean, limit your intake all together but don’t fill up on the first pass. There will be aunts people there that will measure their happiness and possibly some portion of their self-worth on who goes back for seconds on their dish. So be a hero and start small and make several trips. It isn’t like the extra walking is going to hurt. Speaking of needing exercise, if you are a dude that could stand to drop a few lbs, this is even more important for you. No reason for someone to feel like a failure because the fat guy didn’t even want seconds.
2. Get a can of cranberry. It may not look too fancy jiggling there with its can lines wrapping around it but nothing goes better on a thanksgiving sandwich than slices of canned cranberry.
3. The sympathy scoop. Don’t let anyone take home a dish that was barely touched. I don’t care if you are 90% sure you see hot dogs and marshmallows in there, get a spoon-full. Leave it for last then spread it out on your plate so it looks like you ate it. Remember, these are the people you love, or at least pretend to once a year on this day.
4. Keep it classy. Wine should not be opened before the Turkey float goes by on the parade. (exception: if any part of the menu is being cooked outdoors an open beer is the most important cooking utensil regardless of time of day)
5. Wardrobe selection. You don’t need to go over the top here and show up in a Biggest Loser sweat suit but at the same time think ahead enough that you at least pick those pants that you are still “growing into.”
Last of all, say “Thank You” and have a great time because eating until your left leg starts to go numb is totally sweet.
*note: not to brag but that is a picture of a turkey I cooked. (actually, that was totally to brag)
December 13th, 2012 at 1:59 am
Ahhhh the turkey coma.
November 27th, 2012 at 9:40 am
Sorry but I’m just getting ’round to this. Wish I’d read it before because ida shared & tweeted it – it is all so true and relatable — but I did not have a chance to catch my breath, and now here we are, already on board that runaway train (the Polar Express perhaps?) to December 25th! AHHHH!
November 23rd, 2012 at 1:31 pm
Simon,
Thanks for this hysterical post, I had to reblog it on my own blog.
Happy Leftover Sandwich day to you and yours
Alexandra
November 23rd, 2012 at 7:25 am
I could take a lesson or two from you on cooking the turkey by the looks of that photo. That is one beautiful bird!
Great tips for any family gathering.
Happy Thanksgiving.
November 21st, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Always we have had canned jellied cranberry sauce. This year I am making wholeberry cranberry sauce from real cranberries, because this year I think that will be just what the doctor ordered on my turkey sandwiches. With maybe a little cream cheese. Just a dab.
November 21st, 2012 at 4:46 pm
I work for a big Christmas store, hotel, and restaurant, and our most popular sandwich all year round is the {Boxing Day Turky Club} – Texas toast, turkey, grlled slice of dressing (cornbread, of course, we are in the South!), and cranberry mayo. Ah-Maz-Ing sandwich. Everyone who orders it cleans their plate! So my family is going to the restaurant for lunch tomorrow – no cooking or cleaning up. (no turkey sandwiches, though, until Friday…)
I’ll discuss our Sweet Potatoe Casserole another day.
November 21st, 2012 at 3:56 pm
From Canada, I send Thanksgiving greetings to you and whoever’s cooking the turkey this year! Having lived in the U.S., I have to admit I prefer the timing of our Thanksgiving..in early October. That way, we have time to recover from our eating binge before Christmas sets in.
November 21st, 2012 at 2:26 pm
I miss you Simon. I’m cooking the turkey this year to take it over to my vegan sister’s for dinner or no one would have any triptophan at all. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cut the sage out of my back yard this morning, so there is no way it will be dry by tomorrow. Hah! That’ll show them. something, I don’t know what.
November 21st, 2012 at 11:10 am
Great advice. I don’t know about the cranberry, but you make it sound legit. I can also confirm that if even the fat guy wouldn’t eat seconds of my dish, I would probably be reduced to canceling Thanksgiving all together. Good thing you warned them.
November 21st, 2012 at 11:14 am
trust me on the canned stuff, for a sandwich, there is nothing better.
November 21st, 2012 at 10:46 am
You know how to do the day-after-Thanksgiving Day sandwich right, Simon. Have a great celebration!
November 21st, 2012 at 10:59 am
Thanks, Happy Thanksgiving Stacie!
November 21st, 2012 at 10:44 am
That Turkey, looks delicious! I’d brag too 🙂
November 21st, 2012 at 10:36 am
Sage advice. (Get it? Sage? 😉 )
Happy Thanksgiving!
November 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am
hahaha, so good. Happy Thanksgiving
November 21st, 2012 at 10:31 am
Hot dogs and marshmallows should be a thing.
November 21st, 2012 at 10:37 am
what’s not to love?